This afternoon I spent some time reading Leon Neal’s brilliantly entertaining ‘The Alternative London ‘Knowledge’ (view v1.0 here) and had the idea of doing one for festivals. by no means do i claim to be anywhere near on a par with Leon, but i’ve done my fair share of shitty festival shoots so I figure I might be able to offer a few words of advice to anyone out there interested.
- 99.9% percent of the people who shout ‘take my picture’ at a festival will not fulfil all three of the following criteria: attractive, female or wearing a bikini.
- Whoever you are shooting for, it will not impress the person whose photo you’ve just taken
- If there’s a rumour of a big-name collaboration and everyone knows, it won’t happen
- The most interesting things do not happen on the main stage
- If you spend four hours trudging round the campsite and hippy field, someone will kill a live animal on the main stage in front of 50,000 people and 30 other photographers
- The hi-vis ‘press’ jacket issued by the PR people is basically like wearing a bullseye – it’s why the PRs don’t wear them
- There will never be enough beer in the press fridge. Lash and stash.
- However fast the PR says the wireless network is, take a LAN cable
- When the wireless network breaks, don’t tell everyone how fantastic a connection you get with your LAN cable
- However well you prepare, at some point you will resort to protecting some part of your kit with a bin bag and gaffer tape.
- the guest/VIP area is there for a reason - clean(er) toilets.
- only chumps buy beer from the guest bar (see 7)
- the best atmosphere photos involve toilets or the act of going toilet. but taking photos of people’s bits will get you arrested and/or beaten up.
- the chair is only yours if you are sat in it. perching doesnt count and only twats put their name on a chair.
- if you want to look at facebook in the press tent, don’t use someones macbook pro as a surface to rest your 5 year old acer on. it will get you kicked/tripped/abused/generally disliked
I think that’s enough for this evening. tomorrow, party in the park. oh. dear. god. why.
Nice work, Nick! Fine selection there (although I survived #13 without being arrested..)
The wireless ones are so true and do I detect the scent of Justin Timberlake and Black Eyed Peas on #3?
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I’d add to that list “If you decide after a few beers you can’t be arsed to get more firewood for press area bonfire and opt instead to burn half a dozen of the press tent chairs keep bloody quiet when you see journos having to stand, kneel or crouch for the next two days to file any copy or shots”
Nicely done, Nick. I totally agree with you on #14. Don’t even get me started on those ‘Oh, I’m a bad-boy photographer-Let-me-show you-also-who-work -for-to-impress/intimitate-you!’ types!!
I found your blog on google and read a few of your other posts. I just added you to my Google News Reader. Keep up the good work. Look forward to reading more from you in the future.
Class. Absolutely class.